When God Isn't Enough

I've been stuck on a question for the past month:

Enough?

Am I doing enough?

Am I good enough?

Is God going to do enough?

When is enough, enough?

And I find myself wrestling with this question; wondering if maybe God allows things to go too far sometimes.  I watch the news at night, see the innocent children dying because of war, and I wonder why God doesn't do more.  I read on Facebook the stories of young moms dying of cancer, and I wonder why God doesn't do more.  I know my own sins and my own struggles, and when my own prayers go unanswered, I wonder why God doesn't do more.

I know He's always there, always around, but what if...maybe...He allows us to wander a little bit too far, cause a little bit too much trouble, and bring a little bit too much pain along with us?  What if the reason God doesn't fix all of the problems we see is because He actually isn't "enough"?

I feel like a heretic even asking this question.  I mean, on every retreat I went on in high school, we sang "Enough" by Chris Tomlin (which was even played more than "Good Good Father."  I know, hard to believe, right?)  I've heard countless sermons reminding me that no matter what happens, God is always enough.  I've even counseled people who were battling through some of the most traumatic events a person can handle, and advising them to let God be enough, and to let go of the rest.  Was I lying?

In many ways, this question of "enough" is embedded in the Bible from the very beginning.  In Genesis, when God tells Adam and Eve they can eat from any tree except the tree of knowledge of good and evil, that fruit now becomes the only thing they see.  You can almost imagine them staying up at night talking about how good the fruit probably tastes, what they will learn God has withheld from them by eating the fruit, and when they will eat it without God seeing.  And one afternoon, when they know God isn’t around, they sneak a bite and understand the full measure of what is to be human. 

But, have you ever wondered why they ate the fruit in the first place?  It wasn't because they were unhappy.  It wasn't even because they believed Satan more than God.  They ate the fruit because they wondered whether or not God was in fact enough...if He was everything that He claimed to be.  And they theorized that if they had equal knowledge of God, then they would be able to decide for themselves if God was enough...if God could be trusted.

Strangely enough it was only in testing God and making the wrong choice that they were able to find the God who loves, saves, and is enough.  By eating the fruit and suffering it's consequences, they were able to realize the fullness of their sin and the fullness of His grace.   In a moment, their imperfections were magnified in the presence of Perfection, and they had to leave.  But at that same moment, God extended grace, and became enough for them on the other side of Eden.

He should have disowned them.  He should have destroyed them and started over.  How could He allow two measly humans to destroy everything that was so perfect He came to visit it every day?

Because His love was more:

More than His own Creation
More than His own plans
More than His own life
More than enough.

I don't want to trivialize what's happened to you.  I'm not going to attempt to understand why they died, why you lost that job, why your marriage didn't work out, why you can't have kids, why you can't kick that habit, why terrorists, cancer, and nerve gas exists.  But I do know this:  God didn't create it, and He doesn't like it either.   I know it because I can see what He originally created, and what He gave up to allow us the freedom to choose Him.

You don't sacrifice everything just to destroy it later.  You sacrifice everything to be apart of it.  The cross of Jesus says to us there is nothing God won't do to bring us home - except for us to choose Him.

When Jesus came, He made one thing abundantly clear: He's in this with us.  The good and the bad.  The evil and holy.  The sacred and the secular.  He's in it with us.  And, while we may question, stomp, get angry, and resent Him for not stopping all of the evil and travesty we see around us, we also know that one day He will.

The resurrection wasn't just our pass into Heaven, it was the complete undoing of what Adam, Eve, and the rest of us have done.  It is opening the gates to Eden once again, and filling the earth with His love and grace once more.  It is restoring all things to the way He intended.  One day, everything will be made new.

But in the meantime, while we watch the news, see the suffering, and experience the heartache of life, know that He's in this with you.  He is enough.

When you are overwhelmed with sorrow; know that in that moment, He is enough to wipe your tears.
When you are burdened because your mistakes have caused more harm than you once realized; know that He is enough to offer you grace (even if no one else will).
When you watch the news and question where He is in the world; know that He is watching it with you, and also with those you are watching.
When you are in the wilderness; know that He offers Eden.
When you experience death; know that He is life.
When you see evil; know He is love.
When you cannot be enough; know that He is, and always will be.

Enough?  Let Him be.  Because He already is and always will be.

Be honest.  Be open.

This is the Christian Safe Zone.