Beating the Slump

It's just me and you talking, right?  Can I be honest?  I'm in a bit of a slump when it comes to God.  My prayers don't flow as easily as they used to.  I'm feeling restless at the lack of clarity to my future.  Days seem to fly by one to the other before I can even catch my breath.

Maybe the change in my schedule has thrown off my routine.  Maybe I'm not reading the Bible because it's no longer my job to study it.  Maybe my faith was never that strong to begin with.  And, as I travel further and further away from being a “professional faither”, I’m realizing just how hard this whole faith thing really is.

                      

But, that’s how relationships are.  Give and take.  Highs and lows.  Ebbs and flow.  It's not that I've fallen out of love; it’s just that for the first time I have to really work at it.   I’m not complaining; this is probably the best thing that could happen to me.  I can’t take anything for granted.  Every moment I do steal away to read, pray, and write is precious.  They are just not as numerous as they once were.

If faith in God is conversely a relationship with God; than shouldn’t I approach this slump with the same perseverance and attitude as I would in my own relationships?  What I felt a slump in my marriage?  How would I respond?  What steps would I take to rectify the relationship?  Where would I poke and prod to discover the weak points in the connection?

First, I would remember what created this love in the first place. What memories do I have that brings levity to the weight?  I would remember all of the times they have been there for me, even when nobody else was.  I would allow myself to be captivated by that love once again.  It’s so easy to see only the hand in front of your face when the fog descends.  But it only takes that one song, a visit to that one spot, that one conversation with a friend to allow their love to flood your memories once again, and breathe life into the deadness of your relationship.

However, that only works for a moment.  Memories are just that – momentary glimpses into the past.  For any relationship to work there must be a future.  But, how do you manufacture a future?  You certainly can’t contrive love out of thin air, but as long as you both still want the relationship to exist (and I’m pretty confident God does), you can work on it.  You can take each day as they come, and commit yourself to taking positive steps forward every day.

I fell into a slump because my routine got broken.  I never meant to stop praying nor reading my Bible, but when my schedule changed, so did my habits.   It's time to develop a new routine.  What will make this time different?  I have to start by doing one daily discipline better than what I did yesterday.  Be more focused today than what I was yesterday.  Pray differently than what I prayed yesterday.  Learn something different than what I learned yesterday.  Resist the temptation to say, “This is just how things are” and instead say, “This is what I want it to be.”

Inevitably this daily internal battle will grow tiresome.  What happens on the days when simply “trying harder” conflicts with the two-dozen other responsibilities I have to try harder doing?  That accountability for continued perseverance and development must come from somewhere.  There must be some support system around you.  Somebody for you to turn to who not only knows your strengths and preferences, but also knows where to place the scaffolding to support your weaknesses.  We are works in progress, there’s no shame in admitting it.  The only shameful thing is pretending you’re already complete.

That’s one reason I love the church we’re going to right now.  The entire staff is open about their flaws.  They’re not scared to admit their imperfections, ask for support, and love equally (regardless or tithe or attendance).  I remember having lunch with the senior minister after a few weeks of attending their church.  He had no idea who I was, my background, or my agenda.  What struck me was his honesty about who he was, not who he wanted me to believe he was.  It was so refreshing to talk with somebody who’s only goal was for me to grow for (in his words) “as long as I was apart of this community.”  I love that!  And if there is a key to unlocking my slump, it is found in investing into this community.

In spite of all of this, I still have hope.  In the midst of my doubts, this slump, or in the days where I wonder why this relationship is so important to begin with; I have hope.  Hope is a rising-to-the-occasion kind of faith.  It is the undergirding to all that I believe, and why I believe it.  We will all have moments where we will be knocked down, pushed around, and devoid answers.  Hope pulls us back up.  Hope offers a plank of wood after the shipwreck.  Hope says, "I'm enough, even if you aren't right now.

I’m guessing if you’ve gotten this far, you’ve nodded your head a few times.  You get the depth and the sometimes overwhelming sense of impossibility that comes with a slump. I’m hoping these words offer some sort of starting point; a place to begin.  Relationships are hard; faith is harder.  But, with the right attitude and support, it not only can get better, it can be better than you could ever ask or imagine.  I’m not there yet, but I know I will be.  Until I do…

Be Honest.  Be Open.

This is the Christian Safe Zone.

When God Isn't Enough

I've been stuck on a question for the past month:

Enough?

Am I doing enough?

Am I good enough?

Is God going to do enough?

When is enough, enough?

And I find myself wrestling with this question; wondering if maybe God allows things to go too far sometimes.  I watch the news at night, see the innocent children dying because of war, and I wonder why God doesn't do more.  I read on Facebook the stories of young moms dying of cancer, and I wonder why God doesn't do more.  I know my own sins and my own struggles, and when my own prayers go unanswered, I wonder why God doesn't do more.

I know He's always there, always around, but what if...maybe...He allows us to wander a little bit too far, cause a little bit too much trouble, and bring a little bit too much pain along with us?  What if the reason God doesn't fix all of the problems we see is because He actually isn't "enough"?

I feel like a heretic even asking this question.  I mean, on every retreat I went on in high school, we sang "Enough" by Chris Tomlin (which was even played more than "Good Good Father."  I know, hard to believe, right?)  I've heard countless sermons reminding me that no matter what happens, God is always enough.  I've even counseled people who were battling through some of the most traumatic events a person can handle, and advising them to let God be enough, and to let go of the rest.  Was I lying?

In many ways, this question of "enough" is embedded in the Bible from the very beginning.  In Genesis, when God tells Adam and Eve they can eat from any tree except the tree of knowledge of good and evil, that fruit now becomes the only thing they see.  You can almost imagine them staying up at night talking about how good the fruit probably tastes, what they will learn God has withheld from them by eating the fruit, and when they will eat it without God seeing.  And one afternoon, when they know God isn’t around, they sneak a bite and understand the full measure of what is to be human. 

But, have you ever wondered why they ate the fruit in the first place?  It wasn't because they were unhappy.  It wasn't even because they believed Satan more than God.  They ate the fruit because they wondered whether or not God was in fact enough...if He was everything that He claimed to be.  And they theorized that if they had equal knowledge of God, then they would be able to decide for themselves if God was enough...if God could be trusted.

Strangely enough it was only in testing God and making the wrong choice that they were able to find the God who loves, saves, and is enough.  By eating the fruit and suffering it's consequences, they were able to realize the fullness of their sin and the fullness of His grace.   In a moment, their imperfections were magnified in the presence of Perfection, and they had to leave.  But at that same moment, God extended grace, and became enough for them on the other side of Eden.

He should have disowned them.  He should have destroyed them and started over.  How could He allow two measly humans to destroy everything that was so perfect He came to visit it every day?

Because His love was more:

More than His own Creation
More than His own plans
More than His own life
More than enough.

I don't want to trivialize what's happened to you.  I'm not going to attempt to understand why they died, why you lost that job, why your marriage didn't work out, why you can't have kids, why you can't kick that habit, why terrorists, cancer, and nerve gas exists.  But I do know this:  God didn't create it, and He doesn't like it either.   I know it because I can see what He originally created, and what He gave up to allow us the freedom to choose Him.

You don't sacrifice everything just to destroy it later.  You sacrifice everything to be apart of it.  The cross of Jesus says to us there is nothing God won't do to bring us home - except for us to choose Him.

When Jesus came, He made one thing abundantly clear: He's in this with us.  The good and the bad.  The evil and holy.  The sacred and the secular.  He's in it with us.  And, while we may question, stomp, get angry, and resent Him for not stopping all of the evil and travesty we see around us, we also know that one day He will.

The resurrection wasn't just our pass into Heaven, it was the complete undoing of what Adam, Eve, and the rest of us have done.  It is opening the gates to Eden once again, and filling the earth with His love and grace once more.  It is restoring all things to the way He intended.  One day, everything will be made new.

But in the meantime, while we watch the news, see the suffering, and experience the heartache of life, know that He's in this with you.  He is enough.

When you are overwhelmed with sorrow; know that in that moment, He is enough to wipe your tears.
When you are burdened because your mistakes have caused more harm than you once realized; know that He is enough to offer you grace (even if no one else will).
When you watch the news and question where He is in the world; know that He is watching it with you, and also with those you are watching.
When you are in the wilderness; know that He offers Eden.
When you experience death; know that He is life.
When you see evil; know He is love.
When you cannot be enough; know that He is, and always will be.

Enough?  Let Him be.  Because He already is and always will be.

Be honest.  Be open.

This is the Christian Safe Zone.